Caption Competition: The Owlbear Cub and the Bronze Golem

Submit a caption for the this image in the thread below for a chance to win a Limited Edition 13th Age Bestiary when it is released.

Be sure to include your email address in the comments. One entry per person

(Some comments are moderated, so your idea might be have been pipped by someone else, even though you can’t see it.)

An Honourable Mention will get a Pelgrane Press voucher.


66 Responses to “Caption Competition: The Owlbear Cub and the Bronze Golem”

  1. “By the icons, I said I wanted OIL, not OWL!”

  2. David Lundy says:


    The owlbear cub’s natural cuteness leads to many easy meals. Even automatons are not immune.

  3. Adam says:

    And when did you last see your fathe … TEH CUTE! I CANNOT TAKE IT!

  4. JohnC says:

    zzzzt I will hug him, and *clunk* stroke him, and cuddle *whrrr* him, and sing to him, and call him George, duh. zzzzt

  5. John Buckmaster says:

    The Golem did not notice the Mother owlbear behind him. Never get between a Mother Owlbear and her Chub… not if you want to live.

  6. Kevin Kulp says:

    “I’m so honored to win this huge Oscar for ‘Cutest Monster.’ I’d like to thank my parents, Hooty and Flips-the-Fish…”

  7. Moe Lane says:

    “Is it someone new?”

  8. Daniel Diaz says:

    “Are you my mommy?”

  9. Marc Hertogh says:

    “It followed me home master… can I keep it?”

  10. Lio Leeuwerink says:

    “What’s wrong with this image?

    The Golem still has both its arms!”

  11. Shane says:

    Owl I defeat this Golem? I can’t Bear to lose!

  12. Guurzak says:

    The forgeborn considered it completely unfair that it should be sent to kill one little owletbear. It was correct that this was unfair, although not in exactly the way it was thinking.

  13. Melody Haren Anderson says:

    “According to records, babies need milk and diapers. Must procure cow, milkperson, tailor, and cloth. Take baby human and start further collections.”

  14. Rob Bush says:

    After decades of study, Clanks McGillicuddy thought he FINALLY understood how biological reproduction worked.

    Until he met little Mortimer.

  15. Mike Thompson says:

    “Mummy is over protective…”

  16. Scarman says:

    “I will pollute if I damned well please, insolent little creature!”

  17. Niclas M says:

    “O BRLY?”

  18. Morgan says:

    I do not understand “O RLY.” Please try another command.

  19. Mattias Matikainen says:

    “Ohh owl could I bear this burden!?!”

  20. Sean Holland says:

    “Who are you?” asked the little owlbear.

  21. Grant says:

    They fight crime.

  22. Ben Roby says:


    Cuddlefeather and Bronzefist,
    ‘Scourges of Shadowport’, ‘The Terror of Drakenhall’, and the ‘Defilers of Santa Cora’

    Wanted for Grand Larceny and Impersonating no less than 25 Government Officials.

    If seen, report to local authorities immediately. Do not engage if you value your lives.

  23. Thiago says:

    Lone Owl and Cub.

  24. Tim B says:

    “Who’s your daddy?”

  25. Omni Desol says:

    When choosing the perfect babysitter for your owlbear cub, limb strength should play a large part in your selection.

  26. Hannah says:

    POSITIVE:_ Unit not edible.
    NEGATIVE:_ Owlbear too young to know this.
    PROJECTION:_ Doom 93% certain.

  27. The Retrieval Unit, having only been given verbal commands, was surprised when he finally met “Albert.”

  28. Josh Roby says:

    “And now, my golden creation, you shall fetch me a dozen live mice, a few honeycombs, and the heads of those damned adventurers!”

  29. Drew Wendorf says:

    Even in the mechanical steelforged realm of Tockus, the best-selling Christmas toy was My Little Owlbear.

  30. Andrew Nicholson says:

    I think I’m going to need a bigger pea green boat

  31. ASH LAW says:

    Of the two Mr Grrwoo was by far the more dangerous.

  32. Mike M says:

    Brazen Golem: “What do you mean am I left-handed or right-handed?

  33. Tex says:

    Dwarf-forged Druid meets his animal companion. His indecision between an owl and a bear have had unforeseen circumstances.

  34. AlioTheFool says:

    It’s so fluffy I’m gonna die! It’s. So. FLUFFY!

  35. Tony Williams says:

    “I *SAID* I wanted a Tickle-Me-Elmo!”

    STOMP, STOMP, STOMP, Whinnnnnnnge

    ( from sorry real-life )

  36. Kevin Burns says:



    Threat Level…CUTE!

    Analysis…It’s A Trap!!!

  37. Drastic says:

    The Gnomish Bomb Disposal Golem must operate with special care in this situation. Owlbear cubs are known to be on a hair-trigger.

  38. So… Many… Feels… Overloading… Hug… Inhibitors…!

  39. Danny says:

    Sometimes, feigning innocence is the best way to get your recommended daily value of copper and tin.

  40. Yan Periard says:

    “Papa Owl, the clock needs fixin'”

  41. Joe says:

    “If owl unit will not stay still, then program ‘baby sit’ cannot compute!”

  42. Dion "Ashardis" Haubro says:

    “You have funny feathers, Mummy! I’m hungry!”

  43. George says:

    When the Archmage sent an orphaned Forgeborn to find a new master, he realised that “hairy and short” is an insufficient definition for a dwarf.

  44. Robert Dushay says:

    So that’s a stuffed animal! I wonder who it’s stuffed with?

  45. Kai Poh says:

    “I’m what you want to be when you grow up?!?”

  46. Andrew Raphael says:

    No wonder it’s the apex predator.

  47. Athanasios says:

    Size doesn’t matter!

  48. Muse says:

    -Mammyyy, I don’t wanna play with him!

  49. Athanasios says:

    Where did I leave my remote control?

  50. Graham Wills says:

    Yes, it’s a very impressive transformation, but Megatron says he’s not sure it’s quite as dangerous as your submission made it out to be …

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